Lost and Found
by SassySnow1988
Summary: Inspired by Graciousportofships' post about why Charming didn't feel Snow's heart be ripped out by Regina in 2x17. Alternate take on what happened after Snow left Regina's porch. Snowing, Charming family feels.


**Lost and Found **

**A/N: **Inspired by Graciousportofships' post about why Charming didn't feel Snow's heart be ripped out by Regina in 2x17. This is what I meant when I said my followers are the most manipulative little shits I've ever met... But I love you anyway.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing!

**Rating: **Teen (adult themes and some language)

**Special Thanks: KayleeThePete**, my always fabulous beta and dartie; **Graciousportofships** for somehow finagling TWO prompts in one week out of me; and **Operaballerina** for being wonderful and helping me get through a monster day yesterday.

**Written While Under the Influence of: **Trading Yesterday-Shattered.

_"Nothing is ever really lost, or can be lost,_

_No birth, identity, form—no object of the world._

_Nor life, nor force, nor any visible thing;_

_Appearance must not foil, nor shifted sphere confuse thy brain._

_Ample are time and space—ample the fields of Nature._

_The body, sluggish, aged, cold—the embers left from earlier fires,_

_The light in the eye grown dim, shall duly flame again;_

_The sun now low in the west rises for mornings and for noons continual;_

_To frozen clods ever the spring's invisible law returns,_

_With grass and flowers and summer fruits and corn." _

_—Continuities, Walt Whitman_

Charming had barely made it in the door of the apartment when it happened. Pain in his chest so sharp he staggered and had to catch himself on the doorframe as his knees buckled under him. Emma was immediately at his side, green eyes wider than he'd ever seen them as she grabbed his shoulders to keep him upright.

"What the hell was that?" she demanded, a tremor of what he could swear was fear in her voice.

He could only shake his head, one hand clutching his chest as Emma and Henry each took an arm and maneuvered him into the apartment, Neal lagging behind uncomfortably—unsure he was welcome. Charming would love to tell him he wasn't, but could barely breathe at the moment. They helped him into a chair at the kitchen table, Emma sending Henry for a glass of water.

"What's wrong?" she asked, crouching down to better see his face and running a hand across his brow.

Charming just stared at her, not sure he'd be able to speak even if his heart _weren't_ clenching so hard in his chest that he thought it might explode. He and Emma had a sort of unspoken understanding. The shepherd-turned-prince knew she was closer to her mother and more comfortable with displays of affection from Snow, and while it killed him to stay away from the daughter he'd held all of twice in twenty-eight years, he would wait until Emma closed that distance first. He would wait until _she_ was ready, no matter how long it took.

And here she was, one hand on his face and the other on his shoulder, those green eyes that were the mirror image of her mother's filled with concern for him. Emma stared back at him, the realization of what she was doing washing over her face but she made no move to take her hands away. If the situation had been different, Charming wouldn't have been happier.

Henry broke the moment, hurrying to their side and sloshing water from the over-full glass onto their feet as he shoved it into his grandfather's hands.

Charming's hands trembled as he brought the glass to his lips and took a drink, the liquid burning down his throat like he'd swallowed ice. He winced at the sensation and panted, "I don't know. It just hit me all of a sudden. I haven't felt like that since—" His blue eyes flew wide and the glass shattered on the floor, sending water and glass spraying across the room.

"David! What the hell—?!" Emma began, but he was already off the chair and racing toward the door, shoving Neal unceremoniously out of the way and pounding down the hall.

Charming didn't think, he just ran. The moment he realized what the sensation in his chest was he ran. He didn't know how he knew where to go, he just did. Snow was supposed to be in the apartment, but if she'd still been there no way in _hell _ would she have not come running the moment she heard something was wrong with him. He knew it the same way he knew the clawing pain in his chest was her. _Her heart_.

He'd felt it stop in his chest with the apple in the Enchanted Forest. Now he felt an invisible fist clenching his heart in his chest. _Regina. _

Charming bypassed the front steps, vaulting over the railing instead, and raced down the street, too panicked to even think about getting in his truck, but he was vaguely aware of Emma shouting his name as she chased after him. Blue eyes wild, he made a sharp turn onto Regina's street, lungs burning, but he pushed himself onward. He _had _ to find her, had to make sure she was all right. If...

He couldn't allow himself to complete the thought.

Rage flared in him and his fingers itched for the gun holstered under his jacket—if Regina hurt her, he didn't think he could stop himself as he had with George.

Charming could see the huge white house looming up ahead and glanced down just in time to keep from crashing into a hunched dark figure on the sidewalk. He caught the person's shoulders in his hands, a hasty apology on his lips, when he realized it was Snow. His heart tripped in his chest with surprised joy at the sight of her and he crushed her against him. "Snow! You're all right," he breathed into her neck, the relief in his voice palpable to his own ears.

She stood completely still in the circle of his arms, neither embracing him nor trying to move away. Dread pooled in his gut as he pulled back and she refused to meet his gaze.

"Snow?" he asked cautiously, hands on her shoulders.

"She wouldn't do it."

"What?" Charming questioned, sure he'd misheard the half-mumbled response.

"Regina. She wouldn't do it," Snow repeated in that same distant, low voice.

He tipped her chin up carefully, her tear-streaked face and glassy eyes hitting him like a battering ram. "Wouldn't do what?" he choked out past the lump in his throat.

"Kill me. I begged her to kill me and she still wouldn't do it."

Charming felt his heart squeeze in his chest, a cold fear stabbing down his spine. His wife had begged her worst enemy to kill her and was devastated that Regina had refused. The entire apple debacle suddenly seemed like a pinprick compared to this.

"Snow..."

"It has to end, Charming," she cut him off, face crumpling as fresh tears poured down her cheeks. "I can't live with the guilt and the pain and the rage. I _can't_! This _isn't_ me!" She tried to break free of his grasp but he wouldn't let her, gathering her into his arms as best he could with her struggling and turning her face away as though his very touch was painful.

"I have to die! It's the only way to stop it!"

"No! No, don't say that! _Never_ say that!"

Snow met his gaze with tear-choked eyes. "Please...you have to let me go! There's darkness inside me... If you don't, I'll..."

Charming cradled her face in both hands, keeping her gaze on his. "There is nothing on this earth that could _ever_ make me walk away from you, do you understand?" His blue eyes bore into hers and he could feel the tightness in his jaw from holding back the pain her desperate words caused him.

"You have to! Regina said—"

"I don't give a _damn _ what Regina said! _I know you_. I know what's inside you and your heart better than anyone, and I'm not about to let you go."

Her eyes clenched shut at that and she relaxed a bit into his arms, the fight seeming to melt right out of her.

Charming drew her to his chest, whispering into her ear, "I love you, Snow."

She tensed in his arms, hands pushing at his chest, trying to get away. He felt her head shake against him, unable to stand his love and acceptance, but Charming merely tightened his arms around her and kept whispering it to her over and over again, even as she began to sob, hands fisting in his jacket.

He finally allowed her to pull back enough to look up at him, green eyes boring into his, pain and confusion clouding her gaze. "How can you love me when I don't even know who I am anymore?"

The sight of his wife looking so lost stabbed into him like a thousand knives, and rage at Regina for everything she'd done to make her that way once again flared in him, but he couldn't think about that right now and instead stared at her as resolutely as he could. "I've always known you, Snow. And I'll help you through until you find yourself again."

Her face crumpled again but this time instead of trying to pull away from him, she clenched her hands around his lapels and tugged herself as close as she could get, burying her face in his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Snow cried into the leather.

Charming clenched his eyes shut and ran his hands soothingly along her heaving back. When he looked up he finally noticed they had an audience. Emma stood a few feet away, face hard, but he could see the shine to her eyes. He wondered how much she'd heard but dared not ask. He waited until Snow had stopped shaking to draw back from her, but kept both arms tight around her, shielding her but also trying to hold her together.

"Let's go home."

Snow nodded against his chest and allowed him to lead her, Emma silently walking alongside them.

XXX

When they entered the apartment Henry and Neal were nowhere to be seen, and for once Charming was glad for Neal's presence to help shelter his grandson from this. He led Snow into their bedroom and separated from her long enough to peel both their coats off before pulling her onto the bed and curling up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and just held her, listening to her breathe and trying not to think about how close he'd come to losing her, about the terror he'd felt when she told him she'd begged Regina to end her life.

At some point they must've fallen asleep, because when Charming opened his eyes again grey morning light seeped through the curtains around their bedroom and he was alone.

He heard soft voices coming from the kitchen and peered around the gap in the curtains to see Snow frozen mid-step from the bathroom with Emma blocking her path, arms folded stiffly.

"You don't get to do that," their daughter was saying, a heavy layer of anger masking the tremor of fear in her voice. "You don't get to feel sorry for yourself and just give up. You have a family that needs you," she paused, anger slipping enough for him to hear the tears she fought so hard to hold back, "_I_ need you."

Snow flinched like Emma had slapped her, looking as though the thought had never occurred to her.

"I didn't have a mother for twenty-eight years and I'm not about to lose you now, do you understand me?" Emma demanded. "If you can't hold on for yourself, then do it for us. Because I _cannot_ do this without you."

He watched Emma's shoulders shake and Snow crossed the room, wrapping her arms around their daughter, tears streaming down her own cheeks. "I'm not going anywhere, Emma. I promise."

Emma enveloped her mother's torso, arms shaking with how tightly she held her, and he could just barely catch a muffled, "I love you, Mom."

Charming felt tears sting his own eyes and saw Snow clench hers tightly shut at the sound.

"I love you too."

He stepped back from the curtain, feeling the hot burn of tears sliding down his face, but he didn't care. His wife was home and despite how lost she was, she was finding her way back to herself. And if she didn't find her way on her own, her family would help her. Charming and Emma and Henry would always find her until Snow found herself again. He had faith and Emma had stubbornness and Henry, well, Henry had more than enough of both. Together their family would survive anything.

Thanks for reading!

SassySnow1988


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